Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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