Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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