My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I said "one day" and that day is not today
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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