trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
