I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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