I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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