I wish I could punch you in the face.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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