are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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