I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
