can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
be right there i have to get my cape
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
