They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
