I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
