Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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