You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize