Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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