butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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