i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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