I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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