Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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