If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
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