with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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