Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
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