Someone shit on the floor
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize