He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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