brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
In other news, I just burned my penis
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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