Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
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I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
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Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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