can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
