chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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