she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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