i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
