so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
