i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
i think i just naturally attract stoners
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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