Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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