I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
