Taylor Swift is so right about you.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
