dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
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I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
it's like heaven, but drunker
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
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i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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