We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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