i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I think my fart just growled at me.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
