just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
