My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I am mentally ready for anal.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
