As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
