fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
