This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
