Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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