My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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