I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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