just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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