I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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