Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
