all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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