she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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