I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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