I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i jhust puked up my retainher.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize