glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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