Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize