I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
