Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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