You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
