I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
