This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
