yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
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