I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
wow bdsm is so cute
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
